Sexy pictures

As strange as it may seem I think every woman (maybe men) should have naked pictures taken of them. What better a way to boost ones confidence than to have someone look at those pictures and tell you how sexy or attractive you are. I'm not saying we should all go out and be in playboy but it can be a personal thing. No one but you and your lover need know.
It seems a little strange but honestly it is one of the most liberating feelings a woman can have. A memory that stays with you to boost your confidence. It may seem a little scandalous in some minds, but to me and many others the human body is a beautiful thing and what better way to look at it than in the nude?
We are all beautiful in our physical form and I think the world should be a little less shy and really embrace that. Just make sure you draw the line with your significant other so the thought of unfaithfulness doesn't arise.
Enjoy your body no matter how it looks!

Blessed be

starting fresh

hear we go another year another time same goals 
so now what am I supposed to do? I have the same goals as ever and no plans to fulfill them. This all seems pretty pointless if you ask me going round and round trying to better ourselves and never truly just being happy.
It takes a lot of work for anyone to just be content. I see no problem with that. I've been told that I'm just afraid of change but people never listen they just hear words. I am content to be who I am. I have my goals but I understand that I won't be achieving them by sprinting but rather by running a marathon.
So this year I have the same goals as ever (lose weight, keep living, love, etc.) But this year I have one (rather two) new ones: be patient and embrace the moment.
It's the 28th of January and I'm just getting to this but I see no problem with that, I do tend to be lazy after all. But I've forced myself to have thinking time (I know eek.) So here is how it is right now. It's 430 in the morning I can't sleep we are celebrating my moms bday tonight where I will go over my calorie limit yet again. As usual I'm not comfortable in my house, I'm struggling in my current class (a first by any standard) I've pushed my boyfriend away.
Let me elaborate on the last. I love Alan dearly but I have this problem, I still love my husband ( yeah I know its a topic to be disgust later, I'm sure a lot). Heath lives in Texas I am stuck in god forsaken Colorado. Our families hate each other, like mine hates him and his hates me. I was run out of town to find out four months later he was getting ready to have a kid. So now I'm a stepmother to a kid I don't even know. He can't move and still keep a position like his and I'm stuck here for school. We love each other and are still attracted but realize we just can't be with each other. So we decided to move on... Kind of. He is with cimm I'm with Alan. I love Alan, heath isn't sure about cimm but hey its his kids mom. We've settled. The story of Alan and I is a long one but not now. It's for the reason above that being with Alan another committed relationship that I feel my heart in pieces. I don't want to lose heath (yes I know I have already) not again. Not only do I love him but he is best friend and he has been the best friend I've ever had. If I'm with Alan Alan forces me not to talk to heath, or any guy really. Sorry I'm flirty its a personality flaw. But if I can be this open about my feelings with him you'd think he'd trust me but no.
So here we are a month back together and I had to tell him to back off me. Dear lord the problems in which relationships create, its no wonder god said we should just stay single. Really it makes perfect sense.
I guess we can only wait to see what happens. Well till the next time.

Blessed Be

The little things that make a moment possible

The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else." Martina Navratilova

This really makes you think, and not in a very positive light at first. But now that i've had some time to let this soak in i think i get it. Victory is this moment, what's next? Now i've talked throughout the week about staying present of the current moment and enjoying it. I believe there is still room to look to the future however. I mean if i embraced this actual moment, i wouldn't even be sure what key to press next.
It's about moderation. In the negative thoughts that this makes me think it pushes me even more to enjoy my life for what it is, because then every moment is victory. But i agree victory is a short lived emotion, just like that high you get when you first fall for someone. As short lived as it may be it doesn't mean you shouldn't embrace it. Just remember that there are other things. My day wasn't just wonderful because i found out my boyfriend will be in town for christmas, but for all the little things as well, i got through class, i'm getting along with my family, i have a wonderful dog, and enjoy my schooling

Remember not to be so focused on the exact moment that you forget the entire picture of what made the moment so great, because most of those things can remain present as long as you choose to. No matter what i have Dash and everyday he makes me happy, he is my constant, everything else comes and go just enjoy the moment for what it is.

Blessed Be

Allow yourself to have it

No matter how qualified or deserving we are, we will never reach a better life until we can imagine it for ourselves and allow ourselves to have it." Richard Bach

This is a wonderful follow up to yesterdays quote. Even though we want to live in the present we will always have goals. What better way to achieve those goals by just allowing ourselves to? I know that sounds nice and easy, lets face it that can be one of the hardest things in the world. But does it have to be?
If you take away all the material things that you see in your ideal world, what is the person that you want to be? We have been taught since we were children to practice practice, and that eventually we will get it. That's exactly what you have to do when you want to change something for the better. Put on that mask embrace the person you want to be. Eventually it won't be a mask and you'll have become that person you want to be. Soon after you'll look around and notice that those material things just happen to follow along.
Just like the lesson from the previous quote remember that you must embrace who you are in the moment, be who you want in THIS moment don't wait until tomorrow. Everything else will come. Love yourself and live for yourself in the moment.

Blessed Be

Who are we?

"To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."
This anonymous quote was my inspirational quote for the day, and it really made me think.

In our world we are constantly working to improve ourselves and the things around us; but, what about what already is. I am trying to be a healthy beautiful individual, but if i let that desire consume me then i'm nothing more than a desire and i'll completely forget what i am. We love to live in the past or in the future. Well what about living in the now. So that's going to be my new personal goal, to live in the now.

Right now i am a paralegal student suffering from extreme pain with enough passion that i work through it. I am a beautiful woman with a loving family and set of friends. I am!

Sympathy

I lie in a house hold where everyone is considered obese. Along with the obesity comes pain. Personally i have tension headaches (i've had a headache for now 8 years), chronic migraines, tendonitis in major joints, torn rotator cuff, bursitis, costrochondritis, and severe lower back pain that the doctors can't figure out. not to mention the knee my dr doesn't wanna perform surgery on.
My father can be considered unsympathetic towards all of it, unless i'm to the point i'm going to urgent care or the er. He too suffers from pain and i truly feel bad. How can i show him sympathy though when he seems to not give a crap when his own family is sick or in pain? It's not just towards me but my mother and sister as well.
He plays the martyr game when he isn't well, and granted he does tough through a lot, but how is it he can't have a little compassion for his family when they are suffering? I'm usually a compassionate person when someone i care about isn't feeling well, but it's difficult to have that same compassion towards my father.
I guess some people are just that way. I pray that his eyes open and he can find it within himself to remember that we are in fact his family. That we would give him the care he wants and needs if only he would be able to show it to us as well.
I can take care of myself i just wish that the criticism would go away.

Back

Once again i'm back but the details aren't important. What's important is that i'm still breathing and that i'm decided to choose a life of happiness. I chose to be with the man that i've loved for 10 years now. As much as i care about him the point i've found is that i can be happy on my own. I realized i may never be alone but that's fine because i truly know that, if need be, i could stand all by myself.
I got on the site intending to cancel my account, and then i realized how healthy it is for me mentally. I may never hear from anyone but just to be able to put my thoughts out there is what a person needs at times.
Well it is 4 in the morning and lets face it i'm FINALLY starting to get sleepy. Til later